|
Humor in
Uniform
A DIG and a Commandant of the Armed
Police were relaxing on the lounge of the mess. The converstion
turned towards their orderlies a short while later. Each one
claimed that his orderly was a fool. The two decided to compare.
The commandant called for his orderly and said, "Ram
Singh here is a ten rupees note go and purchase an Ambassador
car from the market right now and bring it here. "Right
Sir", said the orderly. He took the note from the officer
saluated and went back. Then the DIG called his orderly and
told him, "Prem Singh, go to my office and see whether
I'm sitting there or not. "Right Sir", the orderly
said and went back. The two officers had a hearty laugh not
realising that the orderlies were talking outside. Ram Singh
was saying, "Prem Singh, look at my stupid boss he doesn't
even know that the market is closed today and the car cannot
be bought". "And look at my boss Ram Singh, he wants
me to go and see whether he is in his office or not. Why can't
he ring up and find out. I've never seen such a lazy officer
in my life".
======================================
Humor in Uniform
Three Police squads, The Scotland
Yard police, The NY Police and the Indian brigade contest
for the best police force ward. The judges lead them to the
Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who captures
an adult lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time
will be adjudged the best.
....... First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes
back in half an our with a Lion all tied up.
........Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes
with a tied up lion.
........Lastly the Indian brigade goes in, 15 minutes, half
an hour, one hour and no sign of our Indian brigade. The judges
give up and decide to search for them. They go into the forest.
After some searching, they find Indian brigade all excitedly
yelling near a tree. The Indian brigade have tied up a big
bear to a tree and one of them is shouting,"Bol tu Sher
Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !!(Admit that you are a lion!)
==================================
Humor
in Uniform
One police officer asks to another officer "Do you pray
before your meal?" the other replies " no its not
necessary for me , because my wife cooks very well"
====================================
Humor
in Uniform
A number of new Air-Force recruits
were being taken on their first training flight. The plane
had just leveled out after taking off when one of the engines
seized up, and another began smoking badly. Adjusting his
parachute, the instructor strove for nonchalance as he made
his way to the hatch door. "Now I want you men to keep
perfectly calm," he said, "while I go for help."
=====================================
Giving
sad news to a troop
The Captain called the Sergeant
in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones'
mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in
to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his
morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen
up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to
the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some
papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance.
Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called
the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a
pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't
you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered
the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain
called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got
a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better
go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his
morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up."
"Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward."
"Not so fast, McGrath!"
===================================
Indian
chief's signal
An Indian chief is driving
his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken.
He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called.
But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately
B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his
tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location
with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make
sure in its meaning, signals back - once again, with the smoke:
"OK, chief, but why so
much ?"
At this moment a ground test
of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A
huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The
tribe signals:
"Ok, Ok, chief, we just
wondered, why to be so angry?"
===================================
Contest
for the best police force ward
Three Police squads, The Scotland
Yard police, The NY Police and the Indian brigade contest
for the best police force ward. The judges lead them to the
Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who captures
an adult lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time
will be adjudged the best.
....... First Scotland yard
goes into the forest and comes back in half an our with a
Lion all tied up.
........Then the NY police go
in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion.
........Lastly the Indian brigade
goes in, 15 minutes, half an hour, one hour and no sign of
our Indian brigade. The judges give up and decide to search
for them. They go into the forest. After some searching, they
find Indian brigade all excitedly yelling near a tree. The
Indian brigade have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of
them is shouting,"Bol tu Sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher
Hai !!(Admit that you are a lion!)
next...
|
Humour